Frequently Asked Questions:
My child doesn’t want to go to Court-Ordered contact – what should I do?
This is one of the questions we are asked most often by parents involved in child contact cases. It is also one of the most difficult to answer, particularly where there is already a court order regulating contact.
The starting point is straightforward: a court order is legally binding. Unless and until it is changed by the court, it must be followed.
The importance of this was reinforced in the 2026 Glasgow Sheriff Court case of Charlie Foxtrot v Delta Echo. In that case, the court made it clear that:
“It is the duty of the resident parent (the parent with whom the child or children predominantly reside) to encourage, promote and facilitate the child’s contact with the absent parent.”
The case involved a 12-year-old girl who did not want to attend contact. Sheriff Reid accepted that older children may strongly resist contact, but explained that the resident parent is still expected to do everything reasonably possible to ensure that court-ordered contact takes place. He described this as using “both carrot and the stick” or “reason and argument” where appropriate.
The Sheriff was equally clear that he did not expect parents to use physical force. However, he did expect them to use appropriate parenting measures to encourage compliance. If a child continued to refuse contact, this could include reasonable consequences such as grounding or temporarily removing access to mobile phones, computers or similar devices. The expectation was that the resident parent would do his or her “level best” to ensure compliance with the court order.
Judgment was delivered on 22 June 2026. The Sheriff found the child’s mother to be in contempt of court after concluding that she had wilfully failed to comply with the contact order in favour of the child’s father. The court found no evidence that she had taken any meaningful steps to encourage or facilitate contact. On the contrary, there was evidence that she had actively obstructed it, preventing the child from maintaining a healthy relationship with her father.
As a result, the Sheriff held that the mother was in contempt of court and imposed a sentence of seven days’ imprisonment.
What if I have tried everything, but my child still will not attend contact and is becoming distressed?
If your child is continuing to refuse contact despite your best efforts, and the situation is causing them genuine distress, it is important not to ignore the issue—but it is equally important not to make decisions that could put you in breach of a court order without first obtaining legal advice.
If contact arrangements have only recently been put in place, try to give the new routine a reasonable opportunity to become established. It is often important to be able to show that you have made every genuine effort to encourage and support contact before concluding that the arrangements are not working.
If, despite those efforts, your child remains unwilling to attend contact, speak to a solicitor as soon as possible. They can advise you on the most appropriate course of action based on your family’s circumstances. This may include discussing alternative arrangements with the other parent or, where necessary, asking the court to vary the existing order.
In many cases, sheriffs are reluctant to reconsider or vary a contact order unless there has been a significant change in circumstances or sufficient time has passed since the order was made. As a general rule, the court may be hesitant to revisit matters within the first six months, although this is not an absolute rule. Where there are genuine concerns about a child’s welfare or a significant risk of harm, the court can consider matters sooner.
Every family is different, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. Obtaining advice at an early stage can help you understand your legal obligations while ensuring that your child’s welfare remains at the centre of any decisions.
Macleod & MacCallum’s friendly and experienced family law team is the largest in Inverness. We have an Office on the Isle of Skye and regularly advise parents on child contact disputes, or in divorce and separation related cases throughout the Highlands and Islands. If you would like to discuss your situation, please contact our office on 01463 239393 to arrange an appointment.